WHAT DO YOU WANT?
The irrationality of a toddler never ceases to amaze me. Couple it with a late bedtime and you find yourself staring at this tiny little demon you created wondering if you should laugh or scream at the insanity.
The irrationality of a toddler never ceases to amaze me. Couple it with a late bedtime and you find yourself staring at this tiny little demon you created wondering if you should laugh or scream at the insanity.
Carter: “I want mommy to tuck me in.”
I carry him upstairs and tuck him into his bed.
Carter: “I want daddy to sleep with me.”
*eye roll*
Me: “Chris! Carter wants you to tuck him in now so come up to his room please.”
Carter: “Not in THIS room, YOUR room!”
I scoop him up and carry him to our room as I yell down to Chris to meet us in there instead.
Chris enters our room and lays down next to Carter.
Carter: “Ugh, what is daddy doing in here? I don’t want HIM in here. Tell him to go!”
Chris: “Carter, you literally just asked for me.”
Carter: “But there are 2 PERSONS in the bed! I ONLY WANT 1 PERSONS IN HERE!”
A little too eagerly, Chris jumps up and exits the room.
Me: faintly whispering “Don’t go….I’m scared”
At this point I realize I’m in it for the long haul so I slowly put my arm under Carter’s head in an attempt to get comfortable and settle in.
Carter: “UGH. DON’T TOUCH ME! Hands to yourself, Mommy!”
I quickly pull my hand out.
30 seconds later, Carter snuggles up next to me.
Me: “Do you want me to put my arm around you?”
Carter: “Well YEAH!” said in an agitated tone.
I reluctantly put my arm under him again and before my head even hit the pillow…
Carter: “I want to sleep in Deklan’s room with daddy!”
Me:
That’s when I tap out, grab my laptop and start writing this shit down because you have to choose laughter or we’ll all go mad.
Cheers,
Amy
HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE EVERYTHING
If you’re looking for some last minute gift-giving inspiration, I thought I’d take a different approach and share a guide that is service and experience oriented.
I live for the shrieking sound kid’s make when they open a gift they are SO excited about they can’t help but scream. I’m a giver so it fills my cup, but last year I’ll admit I completely over did it on gifts so by the time they got to the unveiling of the Disney Cruise they were so tired and overwhelmed they hardly reacted at all. I expected the kind of reaction you see shared on YouTube but you know what I got? Blank stares of exhaustion from waking up too early and overstimulation from all the presents already unwrapped. You know, the ones you throw in at the last minute just so they have more to open. “Just so they would have more to open.” More, more, more. It’s something I struggle with. Always wanting more, striving for more, noticing those who have more or are doing more. More, more, more.
My strategy this year is not about the number of presents or equal dollar amounts spent on both boys, because as they get older it’s harder to keep it fair. And life’s not fair so might as well teach them that now. I’m buying them each the one thing they really want and then sprinkling in a couple smaller things they asked for, and one thing that’s not on their list but you know they need or would like. That’s it.
If you’re looking for some last minute gift-giving inspiration, I thought I’d take a different approach and share a guide that is service and experience oriented.
A subscription to a service that will make their lives a little easier.
Healthy Weekly Planning with My Everyday Table (Emily is my girl and I’m telling you this will cut your grocery bill and time in half!)
Meal prep services like Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, Plated
Pre-pay their nanny or routine babysitter for x amount of hours
A subscription to something that will make their lives more enjoyable.
Spotify Premium
Newspaper or Magazine
A membership somewhere to benefit their mind or body
Core Power Yoga, Orange Theory, Farrell’s, The Bar Method, Beach Body
Golf Course or Tennis Club
GC to a spa (MN peeps the Woodhouse Day Spa is a MUST!)
Event fee to a mindfulness or personal growth conference or retreat
Microblading (@emilyapolis did my brows and I’m obsessed!)
Set up a Personal Shopping Service (with me, obvi!)
Wardrobe Consultation (also with me!)
For your #momtribe with little’s:
Passes to indoor play areas (MN Peeps: Playground Plaza, Minisota Play Cafe, Stages Theatre Classes, Dance with Carter at the Millennium Dance Company, The MN Zoo, Children’s Museum, Nickelodeon Universe)
Something to do together:
Go to a play
A “choose their own adventure” coupon to plan a special one on one day
Comedy Show
Concert Tickets
Night at a hotel with a fun pool or an indoor water park
Vacation or Weekend Getaway
Update their style game with style box subscriptions
XO,
Amy
THERE’S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH 3 YEAR OLDS
It all begins with an idea.
Here’s an example. Deklan wanted to bring a snack in the car to pick up Carter from school so I told him to grab one for his little brother, too. Anxious to present Carter with his cup of Cheerios, he handed it to him while I was still attempting to get him buckled in his carseat. One fell out onto his lap so I pulled a total mom move: picked it up and pretended I was going to put it back in the bowl and then ate it. I’ve done it a dozen times, but this time all hell broke loose…
Carter in tears: “I was going to eat that! Give it back to me!”
Me: “Too late.”
Carter: “Why did you eat it? I want it!”
Me: “I was just being silly. I’m sorry you didn’t find it funny.”
Carter: “You are so mean, Mommy! Chew it back out!”
Deklan coming to my defense: “Carter, you have a whole bowl of them, you don’t need that one.”
Me: “Deklan will you share one of yours with me, too? That way you are both short one.”
Deklan hands me one without hesitation.
Me: “There, Carter. Now you have the same amount as brother.”
Carter: “CHEW IT BACK OUT! I WANT MINE BACK!”
Deklan: “Here, Carter, you can have one of mine, too.”
Carter: “NO! I WANT THE ONE MOMMY ATE! SHE’S SO MEAN. I WANT IT BACK.”
Deklan and I make eye contact in the rear view mirror giving each other a look that said buckle up because this isn’t going to end any time soon.
Me: “Carter. I cannot ‘chew it back up’. I would have to gag myself, throw up in my hand, and hand you a pile of throw up. Is that what you want?”
Carter: “YES!”
Okay, Psycho…This has gone from kind of funny to disturbing the minute he agreed to eat my vomit. Ready to put an end to this nonsense, I quickly scan the floor mats in the back at the next red light and spot a lone Cheerio amongst a pile of popcorn and pistachio shells from God knows when. I pick it up quickly, make a vomiting sound, and open up my hand offering the stale Cheerio to Carter.
Me: “Here you go. I chewed it back up.”
Carter: *with delight in his eyes he stops crying and eats the Cheerio.*
Me: “I have no words…”
I glance at Deklan in the rear view mirror again and he’s looking at Carter with disgust and then looks up at me and tries not to giggle while he shakes his head in disbelief.
Ironically, Son, you were this bat shit crazy at 3 too and I have many blog posts to prove it!